not that innocent!!!
Dear Chihuahua Who Lives Next Door,
fuck you.
seriously.
this morning i was just waking up, outside i heard the noises of my 7 yr old roommate romping around, playfully. i had just had a great dream and woken up before my alarm clock, staring out the window at the trees moving softly. in this dreamy, slightly awake state i suddenly hear you, Cocoa, barking your goddamned head off. as i hear you everyday, multiple times a day, every time me or someone else in my house walks outside.
we've never done anything bad to you, Cocoa, yet you're completely filled with hate for the 3 of us and any of our friends who walk into the back yard. why? it's not your territory, it's on the other side of the fence for christ's sake. it's clearly not you job to defend OUR backyard. we've never come into your back yard, not even tried, ever! yet you feel so threatened and hate filled towards us that you sit at the edge of your territory and wait for the back door to open so you can make sure we know and understand that you want us to die. what the fuck, Cocoa?! We don't bark at you! Neither do our dogs- Tasha and Clover. In fact, Tasha completely ignores you and doesn't pee on your fence, she never threatens your territory! no one does, yet you act like we've tried to kill you and pee on your land over and over again.
i have news for you, Cocoa, land ownership is silly, so are borders and so are you! you're more than silly! you're deranged. How can something so small be filled with SO MUCH HATE? i don't understand, but i hate you back! shut up in the morning or i'm peeing on your side of the fence!!
-arwyn, human next door
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